Trials and regulations are subjective from person to person. A situation is considered as a trial for you can be a piece of cake for me. The trial in the earlier times were different than of today’s. Some of us are tested through loneliness while others are tested through lack of personal space. One such form of trial is of dispised relation of parent(s) and child(ren). May be one of your parents is a trial for you. They can abusive, undutiful, neglecting or unsupportive. They often expect you to be someone you’re not. Remember, Prophet ﷺ couldn’t do much about it except for calling hisﷺ uncle to the truth with patience and sincerity. Imagine, the Prophet’s ﷺ pain when his own beloved uncle did not support him. So being hurt by your forefathers is not a new thing. And somewhere this is what you are going through. Right?

Here, I advise you briefly on dealing with such situations with parent(s).

•Build Your Character – key role in handling such a person is to first focus on yourself and build a wall around you. The more you know yourself, the less others’ words will effect you, including your parents’. building character does not mean you behave like a leader before everyone. it means your kindness generosity and calm attitude has increased. Define who a ‘man of character‘ is and work on yourself to build those qualities in you.

•Serve Your Parents – I know this is hard, but someone has to take an initiative. Serving your parents will not make you look defeated. Obey them in matters where there is no harm in your religion and personal growth. The more you serve them with sincere intentions the more Allah will make paths easy for you. انشاء الله.

• Value Smal Gestures – bringing them a flower sometimes or spending time together while keeping the differences aside are small gestures with enormous impact. Remember, Allah made us in families to show love and gratitude to each other. Prophetﷺ used to send gifts to Khadija’s (r.a) relatives and friends even after her death, expressing his love for her through serving her kins in the most noble manner. Prophet ﷺ was not rich. He just gifted what was within his means. After all, when did the value of the gift become a standard scale to measure our love for one another?

Try it! A cliche step for a lasting memory.

• Broadening Your Perception – just like you, your parents have traumas too! Unresolved, neglected, traumas that are unheard. instead of whining about your own issue of ponder over “why are the way they are?” This will not only help you to broaden your understanding for others but also gives you ease for your own pain.

Last but not the least, a sincere Dua. Remember, you are asking the one who created you and your parents. If Allah eases your hardship, be grateful to him. If not, remember you are here for a trial, as Allah says in the Quran.

We have made some of you as a trial for others: will you have patience?

–Surah Furqaan, chapter 25: Verse 20.